Happy Holidays
by mcmachine
Summary: Japril celebrating the holidays, starting at the beginning of their marriage. Rating may eventually change to M.
1. Easter

**_APRIL_**

"Happy Easter, baby."

Jackson and I had been married just shy of two months now, and it's the first holiday that we get to spend together as a married couple. The sound of rain outside didn't surprise me – holiday or not, it was still Seattle, and there was nothing that Seattle loved more than overcast skies and rain.

Of course, even if it's our first celebration of the holiday as a couple, I had known Jackson for years already. I knew that his version of Easter probably just meant indulgence in chocolate and fond memories of Easter egg hunts that he had participated in as a child.

My own existed on the opposite end of the spectrum. Sure, my mom had always put together little Easter egg baskets for me and my sisters as kids, usually filled with chocolate and a new pair of socks or some other necessity. Toothbrushes hadn't been an uncommon item, either. But the most important part of our holiday had always been waking up early to go to a Church service that day, and then prioritize the fun and social gatherings for afterward (with church friends, of course). Some similarities, sure, but I knew this day was nothing more than a commercialized holiday to Jackson. There was nothing about God or rising from the dead.

"Good morning, babe," he greeted me. I bent over to place a quick kiss on his lips but instead, his arm wrapped around my waist, pulling me over and on top of his frame. Not a complaint from me, however, eagerly returning the passionate kiss he had to offer.

We don't break until my lungs are burning for air again, and his next comment has me laughing before I get the chance to fill them back up again. "Does Easter mean we have a free excuse to go at it like bunnies?"

"You know that's not what it means." I stick out my tongue at him for only a minute, placing a quick kiss on his bottom lip. "But maybe," I smirked.

"I can work with that," Jackson said as he ran his hands over my sides.

"I have to get up and get ready for church," I reminded him, placing my hands down on his chest and sitting back so that I'm on top of his list. "I'm not going to go to church with your cum inside of me," I said with a pointed raise of my eyebrows, already shaking my head a little bit.

"Then I can pull out," he replied without hesitation.

I rolled my eyes instantly and bent down to place another quick kiss on his lips before rolling off of him and out of bed before he can tempt me to stay for any longer. I like to dress up for church and look nice when I can. Even if I go to chapel in scrubs, when I go properly, I always put on something nice. "You could always come with me, you know," I suggested even though I knew he wouldn't actually take the bait.

"How about… I drop you off and pick you up after, then the two of us go get brunch together?" He countered with a raise of his eyebrows, sitting up in bed and stretching out.

"You're not going to sit in the parking lot on your phone, are you?" I questioned him, digging through my underwear drawer to pull out a seamless pair of panties and nude bra. I changed in front of him, smiling to myself about the way that he shamelessly stared at me. He's good at making me feel wanted.

"No," he chuckled. "I've heard you complain about the parking lot there. I'll find something to do, don't worry about me. But you might want to get dressed before I pull you back into bed again."

I smile at him for a moment before disappearing into the closet to slip into the dress that I'd already picked out for today. It was mostly white, but from the ribcages down, splashes of color in the form of different flowers decorated. It was a modest length and fit and paired well with a pair of nude heels.

"Well, I like your idea." I chimed as I stepped out of the closet, glancing at myself in front of the mirror and smoothing over the fabric of my dress before moving to the bathroom. He got up and joined me after a moment, beginning to brush his teeth. "I'm guessing you want waffles?"

"Mmhm," Jackson muttered.

We danced around the two of each other to get ready, and he ends up waiting for me, of course. I take my time with getting my hair into long and loose curls, spending more time on it than I do with makeup. I'd never bothered to put a lot of effort into makeup. A little foundation and concealer to brighten up my features and take away some of the exhaustion, preferring a mostly nude eyeshadow and mascara.

Checking the time on my phone, it's just about time to head out if I want to get a good seat for the early service. I find Jackson waiting for me on the sofa, scrolling through something on his phone.

"I'm ready to go. Are you?" I asked him.

"Mmhm." He answered without looking up.

I don't bug him about it, letting him drive and drop me off out front of the church. He stayed and watched me go in before driving away, and I find myself a seat near the front with one of the women from the Bible study group that I didn't go to nearly enough. I couldn't quite recall the last time I had been – but they usually met on Thursdays when I had to work, and they knew that I came when I could. They'd always been very accepting of the fact that I didn't have the most steady schedule.

The service goes by rather quickly. I do wish that Jackson was here with me, even if I knew that he didn't believe in God or have the same kind of faith that I did. I wanted him to, but I would never force it upon him.

Real faith meant making the decision for yourself, not because of someone else.

But I don't let the thoughts bring down the attitude throughout the ceremony. I went to a nice Presbyterian church and they always held spectacular ceremonies and choir performances for the different holidays. Easter was no different. They were good at going a bit over the top.

Once it came to its conclusion, I linger among the pews and make simple conversation with some of the other couples around me. Of course, there are questions about where my husband is – they take note of the gorgeous, big ring that I wore on my finger to symbolize my marriage to Jackson. I try to dodge the question as best that I can, even if it does sting a little bit to not have him by my side the way that everyone else did. It was something that I would get used to, though. I had to remind myself not to base myself off of what others thought.

My phone buzzed with a text from Jackson to let me know that he was outside and I smiled to myself, giving them all goodbyes before going out to find him. It only took a moment to spot his car and promptly climb into the passenger's seat.

"Hi baby," I greeted him.

"How was the service?" He asked politely.

"It was good," I answered. "Melissa and her husband both asked how you were doing. She loves to hear about you spoiling me, always tries to use it as an excuse to drop hints to Jim about it," I let him know with a small laugh. "They're nice people. I think you'd like them." I added.

He looked at me for a moment, smiling before beginning to drive down the block for our favorite brunch place. "Maybe we can have them over some night. We could use some married friends that we don't actually work with," Jackson suggested.

"Yeah, we do," I chuckled. "I love Callie and Arizona. And Meredith and Derek. But sometimes, I just want to hang out with normal, other people. We hear the same stories every day and all day long." I remarked, shaking my head. "I don't know the last time I heard a story that wasn't about surgery, actually. Which we are equally guilty of, but still."

Our favorite place for brunch was Bacco Cafe down in Pike's Place. Parking there was always a nightmare to try and find, but we like to take the time and find it anyways. We both love the fresh juice that they had and the variety of flavors. When I'm feeling especially bougie, I'll order a Nutella Cafe Mocha. It's a little more expensive than what I probably would have gone to on my own, but it's become a special place for just the two of us.

To no surprise, the place is especially crowded given the holiday and the after church crowd combination. Church was always more crowded on holidays like Easter which meant that the popular bunch places were just as popular. But with the two of us, it's easy to get squeezed into a table. We make small talk and eat quickly, not wanting to linger too long in a crowded and noisy place. There are plenty of things to do today that don't require being out at a restaurant.

But by the time that we're pulling up to the parking spot in our building, I can tell that there's something else going on. He's got his leg jitter going. He only ever did that when he was excited and trying to hide it. I stare at him curiously for a moment before I blurted it out.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"What are you talking about?" Jackson asked, trying to play innocent.

"You're excited about something and you think that I can't see it." I turned my head to look at him, chewing on my lower lip for a moment. "I can see right through it, Jackson. You might as well just tell me what's going on."

He glanced over at me with a sly expression. "You'll see."

I stare at him for a moment longer before deciding to drop it temporarily, waiting until the car was parked to unbuckle and get out. It's a short walk to get inside the building and take the elevator up to our floor. I'm not expecting him to pause after unlocking the door and just barely pushing it open, but that's exactly what he does, turning toward me.

"Alright, don't overreact, okay?" He said with raised eyebrows.

My eyes widened. "Oh gosh, what did you do…" I muttered, pushing the door to swing open.

When the door's completely open, the apartment was in a different state than what the two of us had left in it. I didn't even have a clue how he had managed to pull all of this off without being late to pick me up from the church. There's an excess of Easter decorations all around, looking more like I had pulled it together than he did. After a long moment of blank staring, a smile finally broke across my features.

"I can't believe you did all of this!" I squealed out, tugging his arm excitedly as I stepped inside. "Jackson, this is amazing."

"Mhm," he hummed out confidently, wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me closer to him. "There may or may not be an Easter egg hunt set up around the house, too. I thought you might enjoy the challenge."

I turned toward him suddenly, my jaw dropped as I started up at him. "You didn't."

"Oh, yes I did."

I cupped his face and pulled him down toward me, sealing my lips on top of his with a firm kiss. "I love you." I reminded him with a broad grin. "You're going to time me and then I'm going to hide them again after and time you. Deal?"

"Deal." He chuckled easily, brushing hair back behind my ear.

"How many eggs are there?" I questioned, already beginning to scan the room.

"Twenty-four," he answered. Jackson then pulled his phone out of his pocket and pulled up the clock app so he could start the timer. "You ready?" He asked, looking at me expectantly.

I nodded my head.

"Go."

Without hesitation, I quickly begin to tear through the living room looking for little colorful plastic eggs. I was making a complete mess, but it didn't matter. Cushions and pillows were moved around, checking behind picture frames and knick-knacks. I count out loud as I find each of them, moving to the kitchen afterward, the dining area. There's even one tucked inside of a wine glass much to my own amusement. It doesn't take long before I've found half of the eggs, then three-quarters. He gave me the courtesy of letting me know that there weren't any in the bathroom. Eventually, I'm down to just one egg left, scrambling through our dresser drawers.

Mumbling to myself, it's his sock drawer that I eventually find a wrapped box. Jackson had been following me from room to room as I hunted and looking all too amused, and his expression doesn't change when I glance back at him with it in hand. He wasn't stopping me, so…

I begin to tear off the wrapping paper and quickly open up the box, finding the last purple plastic egg inside of it. "Hah!" I called out, raising it up victoriously. "Too easy, Jackson. Too easy."

"Aren't you going to open it up and see what's inside?" He questioned with a raise of his brows.

I stared at him for only a moment before following what he said and twisting it open. A pair of earrings dropped down onto my lap. I picked them up to examine them further, realizing they're dangling crosses. "Oh, Jackson…" I breathed out quietly. For all the thoughts that I had about his lack of faith, he was encouraging me to show off my own. Accepting me. "Thank you."

Jackson had moved down next to me, his arm slung around my shoulders. "I saw those the other day and thought that you might like them." He explained. I leaned over, kissing him on the cheek.

"I do. I love them, Jackson. Thank you." I set them down on my lap for a moment, reaching up to my ears to pull out the gold studs that I currently had in. "Hold out your hand," I instructed him, waiting till he did so to drop the studs into them. I put in the new earrings immediately, tucking my hair behind my ears so that they were easy to see. "There we go."

"They look perfect," he murmured, cupping my chin affectionately.

"Now I feel bad. I didn't get you anything, I didn't think that you would want…" I trailed off, but he cut me off before I could continue down that line of thinking.

"All of the other eggs are filled with chocolates." He informed me.

"So what you're saying is you got yourself a present?" I raised my eyebrows.

Jackson grinned for a moment, bending his neck and pressing a sweet kiss on my lips. "Well, if we're being honest, I think that you could give me something even sweeter to eat." He pulled back, looking down at me with a smirk.

"You're so dirty," I shook my head.

"And you love it," he retorted without missing a beat. Before I could come up with another response, he leaned into me and began to press a series of kisses across my jaw and down onto the slope of my neck, sucking on the skin lightly and leaving me breathless.

"Oh, baby…" I breathed out quietly, lifting up my chin to give him better access to my neck. "That feels good."

Strong hands moved and grabbed me by the hips, picking me up off of the floor and lifting me just enough to toss me back onto our bed. Jackson was on top of me again in a moment, face tucked into my neck and taking full advantage of the position. He licked and sucked eagerly, not stopping until I was squirming beneath him.

The more that I moved beneath him, the more that he ground his hips down against me. I can begin to feel the outline of his erection weighted against me and it only turned me on further, wanting to feel him moving inside of me. He has a way of making me wet and needy unlike anything else in the world, and he damn well knew it, too. We're still in the honeymoon phase of being newlyweds, and this seemed to be his absolute favorite activity.

But before it can progress much further, there's the sound of our doorbell ringing that gets both of us pausing. Jackson pulled up, looking at me with wide eyes before beginning to pull away entirely. "Shit."

"What? Who's that? We didn't invite anyone over, did we?" I questioned, raising up to my elbows.

"I may have invited my mom over." He explained with a grimace.

"What?" My voice cracked.

Jackson ran his hand over his face and head, scratching the back of it as he spoke. "Yeah, she brought it up and I invited her over without even thinking about it. It just slipped my mind. Crap. She's probably thinking that you just got home from church."

"Jackson!" My eyes flew wide. "Our house– our house is a complete mess. I don't have anything prepared to eat and we already ate actually, and you have a stinkin' _boner_ right now." I'm quickly getting up to my feet and smoothing out the dress, trying to make sure that I don't look like a complete mess in front of Catherine Avery. I'm not sure if I've won her over completely yet. "She can't come in. We have to go out to lunch. She's going to think that we're absolutely crazy if she sees any of this."

"Well, to be fair, I'm pretty sure that she already does…" he said as he got up.

"Not the time. You… take care of that." I gestured with my finger to the glaringly obvious boner. The last thing that either of us needed when his mother was standing outside our door. "I'm going to stall. But you need to hurry because you know how bad I am at stalling."

He nodded. "Yeah, yeah, go."

I rush to the front door, not wanting to take any longer than what we already had. The last thing that I wanted to do was draw her suspicion any more than it already would be by stepping outside and not actually letting her in.

Swinging open the front door, I put on a bright smile. "Hi, Catherine! Happy Easter!" I stepped out and pulled the door shut behind me quickly, giving her a hug and quick kiss on the cheek.

"It's good to see you, April," she smiled before glancing at the door and raising her eyebrows. "Where's Jackson?"

"Oh! He's in the bathroom. He's uh, been having some stomach troubles this morning. Nothing big! He's just running a little behind schedule, that's all. He should be out in just a minute." I'm rambling more than I need to and I'm sure that Jackson is going to hate the excuse that I came up with, but I tag a smile on at the end of the words and hope that it sells it at least a little better. "I uh, I didn't get to cook because of it. So we're going out to lunch! I hope that's okay. I'll make it up to you some time."

"That sounds just fine." She said with a smile.

Before it could get any more awkward between the two of us, the front door opened once again and Jackson stepped out. I breathed out a sigh of relief, glancing down at his crotch and relieved to see that there's no evidence of what the two of us had been doing before. I send a silent thank you to God for that.

"Hi, Mom. Happy Easter," Jackson greeted and bent down to give her a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Hi, baby." She smiled, patting his cheek affectionately.

"Let's go get some lunch, shall we?"


	2. Fourth of July

**_JACKSON_**

Independence Day.

The last time that a holiday in Seattle had been this sunny, well, memory escaped me. It was the perfect weather for barbecue and fireworks. It was a lucky break for everyone.

"You know what you're doing, right? Because I know how to work a grill." April spoke up.

"I know what I'm doing," I let out a laugh, turning over to give her a quick kiss on the lips. I was currently manning the grill after "I have used a grill before. And it's just hot dogs and hamburgers. Not exactly much of a challenge," I added with a shrug of the shoulders.

All of this was supposed to be a big enough work party. Arizona and Callie had offered to host it and we were in their backyard for the moment, a group of kids running around. April's pregnancy was now public information and had become a conversation with almost everyone who makes conversation with her. A year – well, realistically, two – from now it'd been our kid running around with Tuck, Zola, Bailey, and Sofia. The next mother and father's day that rolled around, we'd be celebrating for ourselves instead of calling our parents to thank them for what they had done for us. It was a lot to look forward to.

"Well, don't forget to put cheese on some of those burgers." April reminded me with a friendly smile, giving me a little nudge.

"I know," I switched which hand was holding the spatula, wrapping my right arm around her frame and pulling her in closer to me. "You need one with cheese. Dairy. You don't get enough of it," I commented, giving her a raise of my eyebrows to see if she was going to disagree.

"Whatever you say," she murmured without disagreeing.

"Good girl," I grinned at her for a moment. "How's the little one treating you today? Any nausea?"

April gave a shake of her head. "No, no nausea. I've been drinking Sprite. I know soda's not any good for me but it's pretty much been the only thing that keeps my stomach settled these days." She explained, giving a little swirl of her hand while motioning to her stomach.

"As long as you're keeping food down, that's good." I pressed a kiss on the temple before unwrapping my arm to flip one of the burgers cooking on the grill. "How are your breasts?"

She looked at me up with wide eyes, her jaw dropping for a moment but saying nothing.

"You were complaining about them being sore yesterday, remember?" I explained.

"Oh, yeah," she breathed out and gave a nod of her head. "No, they're uh, better today. Wearing a sports bra instead of a regular one is apparently enough to make all the difference. Callie gave me that tip," she said with a smile.

"Callie did what now?"

As if she had bat hearing, the orthopedic goddess herself appeared moments after her name was brought up in the conversation. April turned and offered a bright smile to the older woman, and I give her a nod of acknowledgment.

"I was just telling Jackson about some of the pregnancy tips that you gave me the other day," April explained.

"Pregnancy tips?" Meredith chimed in, clearly looking more interested in the food cooking on the grill than the conversation but willing to play pretend for the moment. "Did you tell her about sex? God knows the two of them can't keep their hands off of each other."

"We're right here," I reminded the both of them, clearing my throat. I glanced at my wife, amused by just how red her cheeks had become at the sudden turn of the conversation.

Meredith didn't care to notice. "Increased blood flow to the pelvic area can cause engorgement of the genitals. More sensitive. Better orgasms." She shrugged.

"Okay!" April spoke up, voice higher than usual to indicate her discomfort. "That's enough. Is the food almost done?"

I shot her a knowing smirk. "Mmhm."

"Looks like someone's going to be taking advantage of what Meredith just said," Callie said with a large grin stretching across her features, a little too amused by the situation and April's embarrassment over the blunt words that had come from Meredith. I was a little bit, too. Only because I knew that she was far from the blushing virgin that she might have acted like when it came to openly discussing our sex life, even know that we were married and everyone knew it.

"Well, don't go running off before you finish the food. The kids are starving." Meredith commented before walking away. I looked at April for a moment before giving her a bump of the hip, not missing the opportunity to tease her. I waited until at least Grey had walked away before making a comment about it.

"Not a bad idea," I commented, still smirking and only continuing to with the wide-eyed look she gave me.

Callie clapped April on the shoulder. "Oh, just wait. You're going to go from not wanting to be touched to wanting nothing more than sex, sex, and sex." She grinned knowingly. "Holler when the food is done, okay?" She added with a look at me.

I nodded my head. "Will do."

"Does everyone want to be involved in our sex lives suddenly?" April questioned once it was just the two of us standing by the grill, giving a shake of her head before grabbing the spatula from my hand and turning over one of the burgers herself.

"Hey, hands off, missy." I grabbed it back from her. "No heavy lifting, remember?"

She rolled her eyes. "Oh no, a quarter-pounder. So much." She retorted sarcastically.

"Do you really want to help?" I asked her with a raise of her eyebrows. She gave an eager nod of the head. "Why don't you start setting up some plates for the kids? May as well get in a little practice for this one." With the suggestion, I gave a gentle little poke in her belly and watched her squeal in response.

"Fine, fine," she agreed.

It doesn't take much longer for the burgers and hot dogs to begin cooking and I pick them up off the grill, letting April build plates of food up for kids and watching as she delivered them. She had a way of talking to kids, a natural charisma. I knew that she had babysat some during her teen years and that probably gave her a good foundation for it now. But even without that, I knew that she was going to be an amazing mom. She had too big of a heart not to be.

While she's busy tending to them, though, I set up a plate for each of us. I throw down a few extra slices of pickles down on her plate. Anyone else and it probably would have been a joke, but I knew that she'd been craving all kinds of salty foods and figured it was better for her than some excess chips.

"And one for mommy," I greeted her and handed off the plate of food, watching her light up with a smile.

"Thank you," April murmured and immediately popped one of the pickle slices into her mouth, letting out a satisfied noise. I don't miss the opportunity to make a comment now that most of our coworkers were more focused on making sure their kids didn't make a mess of Fourth of July outfits than they were our conversation.

"You could be making a lot more of those noises, you know," I commented with a grin.

"You're kind of terrible," she retorted with a shake of her head.

I gave a shrug of my shoulders, not denying he words.

"Eat." I rubbed her back for a brief moment. "Just remember, this might be the last Fourth of July that the two of us are able to have sex without having to worry about a little baby waking us up." I reminded her, not letting it drop for the sake of our own amusement. Even if she looked a little embarrassed on the outside, I could tell that it was the good kind.

"The little won't be little forever," April commented with a small shrug of her shoulders. "Unless you're already beginning to think about babies to follow this one." She raised her brows.

"You are the one who's always said that you wanted two boys and a girl," I shrugged nonchalantly. "I figure this one's going to be the football player, then we get a basketball player, and then a soccer player. The girl needs to play soccer, obviously, since the women's team is better than the men's." I explained. So I'd been giving a big family a little more thought since she had revealed this pregnancy to me. Now that we were both on good terms again, it was almost impossible not to.

April was beaming at me. "How do you know that this one won't be the soccer player, huh?"

"Gut instinct. Paternal instinct. Whichever you prefer." I answered without hesitation.

"You're full of it," she retorted with a shake of her head but the smile on her lips didn't falter.

"And you could be too," I hummed out in a singsong, my hand going to her rear and giving the newly ample curve a gentle squeeze. April squealed and slapped my hand away playfully, dancing in the other direction. I grinned and laughed.

We settled down to eat with everyone else, letting the conversation drop for the sake of the group of kids that had settled down at the table. April was all too eager to make conversation with all of them, no doubt considering it to be practice for herself given that they were just about the only kids that she had time to be around. The kids don't know that she's pregnant yet, still not showing, but that doesn't matter to them. I watched and scarfed down a burger of my own, unable to keep a smile off of my cheeks as she bantered back and forth with them easily.

It had fallen dark by the time that cupcakes are brought out which meant that fireworks were bound to start soon. Blankets are draped out across the grass so that everyone could settle down and watch, all of us settling down with our own families.

With my arm wrapped around April's waist, I pull her in close, practically on top of my lap. My hand stretched across her stomach despite the lack of physical evidence that her current pregnancy had shown so far, thrilled about the growing life inside of her. I really couldn't keep my hands off of her anymore.

When the first colorful fireworks exploded across the dark night sky, April flinched from the loud noise and I laughed into her hair, snuggling her in closer and pulling her on top of me.

"We're still at a party," she reminded me, twisting her head back to look at me.

Taking advantage of the momentary position, I leaned forward and sealed my lips over hers in a firm kiss, keeping it modest enough given that we were far from alone at the moment.

"I know," I murmured when I finally pulled away, pressing another kiss on her shoulder. "But the fireworks won't last forever. I'm just thinking about what we can do when the two of us get home." I smirked.

We both sit and watch without much more conversation between the two of us as the firework show continued to ignite the night sky. The colors were brilliant and I had to imagine that weeks, if not months, of work, had gone into making the show tonight. It was sheer luck that Arizona's backyard had a good view of an actual show instead of drunk shenanigans being the firework show.

When it comes to end, most of the kids are exhausted from all of the running around beforehand and we all disperse to our own homes after slow and polite goodbyes. Admittedly, I drove a little faster than necessary to get home.

Given that it was Independence Day, I can't help but be a little cliche in my serenade for her.

 _"And she move like a boss_

 _Do what a boss_

 _Do, she got me thinking about getting involved_

 _That's the kinda girl I need_

 _She got her own thing_

 _That's why I love her_

 _Miss independent_

 _Won't you come and spend a little time…"_

I'm not the best singer in the world, but well, it's only Ne-Yo. The tune proves to amuse April and she shut me up by kissing me hard on the mouth. When the front door of our apartment is finally kicked shut, my hands move to her thighs and I pick her up quickly, her legs wrapping around my waist as I carried her back to our bedroom.

Reluctantly, I disengaged with her upon getting to our bed, setting her down gently on the bed. Normally I don't mind being rough – but while she's pregnant, I have to think twice about it.

Getting rid of my clothes as quickly as humanly possible, her hand wrapped around the length of my cock once it's free. April spits into her palm before giving it a few gentle strokes, my hips canting forward into the contact of her hand easily. I bend forward slightly, pulling off her shirt immediately.

Her breasts had definitely become bigger in the last few weeks, filling up sports bra much more than usual. I'm distracted from checking out just how hot my wife is when her thumb ran along the sensitive slit at my tip, grunting slightly.

"Now who's eager?" I teased her.

Despite just how much I want her to keep going, I pull back and pushed her down so her back was against the mattress. I yank her white shorts off her legs and toss them to another pile on the floor, panties quickly following suit.

Before I can give her a chance to do anything else, I fall to my knees and pulling her to the edge of the bed, burying my face between her thighs.

My mouth found her thigh and I softly bit down on her skin. April let out a soft noise, pursing her lips to try to stay quiet. I ran my thumb through her folds, repeatedly and purposely missing her clit just to tease her. She whined, sitting up just enough to pull her bra off her head. I glance up for a moment, grinning at the sight of her completely naked. No matter how many times I had the pleasure of seeing her like this, it never ceased to amaze me just how beautiful she really was. She was far from the "ugly duckling" that people had once claimed her to be.

Eventually, my thumb found her clit, slowly massaging the sensitive nerve endings there and adjusting myself so that my mouth was positioned over her cunt. I didn't hesitate to dive right in, licking and sucking, listening to the sound of her gasping and whining above me as I gave her everything that I had.

After a little while, my mouth and hands trade place, tongue flickering across the sensitive nub as I pushed two fingers inside of her tight heat. She's dripping and they curl inside of her easily, finding that particular spot. I hummed around her clit as two fingers fucked into her and one of her hands came over her mouth to try and quiet herself, biting down on her flesh to contain her noises and she bent her head back. She arched her hips into my mouth and I pin them back down against the bed without hesitation. It's easy to tell that she's about to come.

April cursed my name. Loudly. But before anything else could leave her mouth, her inner walls clamped down against my fingers and hips bucked more fiercely than before, the orgasm clearly washing over her.

I pulled back slowly, giving her a minute to recover even though I'm hard and aching more than ever. Waiting until it seemed like she'd calmed down enough, I adjust the both of us, pulling her so that she's laying entirely on the bed and I'm hovering on top of her. Once she's given me a small nod of the head to let me know that she's ready again, I lined myself up at her entrance.

Hazel eyes stare into blue eyes as I slowly buried myself inside her. We both let out a long, slow breath. A feeling of everything being right in the world washed over us.

There was a beat of stillness when I was fully inside her, resting my forehead against hers. But we both quickly grow needy for more. I thrust my hips into her causing a moan to escape her slightly parted lips. She ground down to meet me again as I continued to move my hips, beginning to establish a steady pace between the two of us.

"God, baby, you feel so good." I drilled into her, pumping in and out as I spoke. The words filled the room alongside the smack of flesh on flesh. All I felt was heat, pleasure, and the thrill of knowing that she was mine. And I was hers.

"Yes," moaned April, her hands grabbing onto my head and pulling me down closer to her.

I bent further into her, one hand holding her steady and the other reaching down to begin to rub tight circles around her clit, still unrelenting with the pace that I thrust into her. I was getting closer and closer with each thrust, but I didn't want to finish until I could push her over the edge once more. As I rubbed against the sensitive nub, I could feel her beginning to get there again.

"Please, I'm so close. I'm right there. Give me more." She begged.

Picking up the pace of both my hips and my fingers, I give her everything that I had, too eager to please her. Teetering on the blinding edge of climax, April finally screamed out as another orgasm washed over her completely.

The feel of her pussy squeezing around me was too much to resist and I finally cum into her, filling her up easily and pulling back with a slight gaze from the intensity of the orgasm. I lingered there for a few minutes before finally rolling off of her, collapsing onto my back and trying to even out my breathing again.

"Have I told you lately just how much I love you?" I said after a minute, mustering up enough energy to roll onto one side to face her directly.

"You just love me for my body," April accused, but there's a grin on her cheeks.

"That is a mostly unfair accusation," I commented, mirroring her smile.

"Mostly, but not entirely."

With a large smile still on her face, she scooted herself toward me and rolled onto her side facing away from me. I pulled her back against me gently so that we could spoon properly, pressing one more kiss against the shell of her ear before we fell asleep for the night.


	3. Halloween

**_JACKSON_**

As childish as it may have been, Halloween was and always had been one of my favorite holidays.

Even if I had not quite realized it as a child, there was something all too freeing about no longer bearing the label of being an Avery. About for, even just a couple hours of a night, being able to forget about who I was and all of the responsibilities that came along with it.

Now that I'm an adult, it's not quite the same.

But I still love the holiday. Most of the time, it's an excuse to drink with the guys and pop a little more candy than what I usually would. With a body like mine, it doesn't make much of a difference, after all. But I knew that my plans for tonight would be different than heading over across the street to Joe's and knocking back a few cold ones with the guys. After all, April had been pretty enthusiastic about the holiday herself. Not in the same way, I knew it wasn't her favorite, but she liked to go overboard for just about any holiday that she could and she knew I enjoyed it.

For costumes, neither of us had bothered with anything big. We'd open the door for any kids that stopped by and I knew she'd gotten candy and a plastic pumpkin for it, but we both agreed that next year would be the year that we started with that. Once our kid was born.

I suspected that was why she hadn't wanted to go out to any kind of Halloween party, or with Grey's kids for trick or treating. The pregnancy had been taking a toll on her energy and getting through work was about all that she could do in the past week or so. I continued to tease her that it just meant we were going to have a big, healthy baby and she'd be feeling it kick any day now.

"Hey, baby," I called out to her as I walked in the front door of our apartment.

"Hi," I heard her call back out, presumably from the bedroom. "I'll be out in just a minute."

Dropping my keys and bag down near the door, I let her be. It's early enough in the evening but still cool. Trick or treaters were bound to be ringing the doorbell any minute now. I wasn't going to rush her along, though, opting to turn on the television.

A few minutes later, I finally hear footsteps coming down the hallway that had to be April's. I glanced over my shoulder, gaze finding her form immediately.

She was wearing a mustard yellow dress that went about halfway down her thighs with the addition of the baby bump that was peaking out these days. On top of it, she had a bright red crop top. From all of the baby items that we had been going through lately, it takes no time at all to recognize who she's supposed to be.

"Well hi there, Pooh Bear." I greeted her with a grin, walking over to kiss her.

April beamed up at me after the short kiss. "Hi, baby."

"You look very cute," I commented as I placed my hand on top of her stomach. My fingers spread across the bump, covering the majority of it with my hand. Even if it peeped out of her tiny form and looked small compared to her frame, it's still small enough.

"Is there any chance that I'm going to be able to get you in a Tigger onesie?" She questioned, raising her eyebrows up at me.

"Not a chance in Hell." I chuckled out. "Want me to go put on something else?"

"Yes, please." I saw that one coming. I figured she wasn't going to be happy for me to hand out candy to trick-or-treaters while wearing jeans and a Henley. Giving her another quick kiss on the lips, I moved past her and down toward the bedroom, sifting through the closet for a moment.

Admittedly, I hadn't gone shopping for anything. It hadn't really been much of a priority anymore. Most of my energy outside of work had been spent working on getting a nursery ready for the baby, wanting things to be done plenty early just in case. I didn't anticipate any problems with the pregnancy, of course – but admittedly, Sofia's traumatic entrance into the world had come to mind. I'd looked up to Mark like a father and knew that it had affected him. I wanted to be prepared for every possibility.

Pulling a Jersey off the hanger and some basketball shorts out of the drawer, it only took me a minute to actually get changed into them. It's a cliche, sure. But it'd be enough to get her off my back about it.

"Happy?" I prompted her as I walked back out with a raise of my eyebrows.

"Well, it's not Tigger." April teased with a shake of her head. "But I suppose it'll have to do for now."

"You're the only one I'm looking to impress." I reminded her with an easy chuckle passing through my lips. "And judging from that not-so-little bump of hers, I think that I've done a good job of it so far." I grinned.

She rolled her eyes and gas a slight shake of my head. I beamed at her for a moment before bending down onto one knee, pressing a kiss on the curve of her stomach.

Before either of us could make any further comment on the matter, though, there's a knock at the door that indicates our first round of trick-or-treaters had arrived. I grinned at her and get back up onto both feet, stepping back and moving out of her way.

April grabbed the plastic pumpkin filled with a variety of different mini candy bars, bounding over to the doorway. I stood back and watched her for a moment, the enthusiasm that she opened up the door with, the way her voice rose in pitch when she talked to the kids. They were elementary school aged, from the looks of them. Her voice was a little babyish, but that was okay.

She was going to be a great mother. Every time that I saw her interacting with kids, the affection that she cradled her own little bump, the way that she lit up whenever we went looking at things for the nursery… it was infectious, the absolute joy that lit her up every time. I didn't doubt how amazing she was going to be, not for a second. She had always been one of the best women that I knew. I knew that she would raise strong children, just like her, good children. Even if we didn't agree on every little detail of how we were raising the little one, I knew that they would be okay. That they would be good and happy because they had us. Because they had her.

Chatter is, of course, cut short by the very nature of children. Once they've got candy thrown in their bags, they're eager to get moving along to the next door, parents apologizing for their behavior.

By the little look on her face, the slight pinch between the bridge of her eyebrows and way that she put her hand on her stomach, I know exactly what she's about to say it.

"Don't say it," I commented with a shake of my head.

"Our baby is not going to be like that," April challenged with a raise of her eyebrows.

"I told you not to say it," I said but let out a chuckle. "Now you jinxed it. We're definitely going to have the kid who's running from door to door without so much as a thank you on Halloween."

Her hair tousled as she shook her head at me, placing her hands on my chest. I grabbed her hips after a moment, naturally pulling them in toward me until the curve of her stomach was pressed against my lower abdominals. I loved her body while she was pregnant. There was nod denying that.

"Shush," she disagreed. "We're going to have a perfectly well behaved little baby."

"A little Twix loving munchkin, just like his mom." I teased. With one hand, I reached past her toward the carrier of candy resting on the counter, trying to see if I could sneak something for myself. She caught me, of course, slapping away my hand gently.

"Do you know how hard it is to enjoy candy bars when you're allergic to peanuts?" She whined.

"Nope," I clucked my tongue. "Reese's cups, Mr. Goodbar, Snickers… mm." I trailed off, purse ply being just a little bit of a coy ass.

April made a noise of frustration. "You're being so mean. All I get is Twix and Milky Ways and plain chocolate. Plain chocolate is so boring."

"Starburst, Skittles, jelly beans… all that fruity, sweet stuff. You love that." I reminded her.

"Yeah, that's true," she sighed out. "Still. The sentiment is the same."

The majority of the night went on like that, a football game playing in the background and the two of us alternating a bit between who got the door or getting it together. Watching any interaction between her and kids was a real delight. It just made me even more excited for our child growing inside of her.

One of the good things about living in an apartment building is that there's not a ton of trick-or-treaters. They almost exclusively came and went in groups or families.

Around nine o'clock, the two of us call it quits. In other words, I grab the candy-filled pumpkin for myself and begin digging around in whats left of it. It's mostly mini Hershey and kisses at this point. I'm almost positive she's going to whine about that at some point.

April had plopped down on the sofa though I can tell that she's entirely bored with the football game playing on the television. Both of her hands were placed on her baby bump, rubbing it and mumbling something that I couldn't quite hear. All I could pick up on was the slight movements o her lips. She was almost always saying something to the baby. I quietly walk up behind her and the sofa, bending over it and slipping my hands to her shoulders.

"Do you want to watch something else?" I asked.

"Yes, please," April glanced up at me with wide eyes.

I chuckled, releasing her to walk around and grab the remote off of the coffee table. "Do you think I can twist your arm into watching a horror movie?"

"As long as there's no football involved," she replied without missing a beat, shifting her hips and patting the space on the couch next to her. I sit down immediately, letting her curl into me.

Pulling up Netflix on the television, I skimmed through some of the options before settling on an older movie – _Children of the Corn_. I knew that she didn't like anything too excessive or full of jump scares like most horror movies these days.

Yet despite it being a more mild choice, in my opinion, April still curled up beneath my arm for the entirety of the hour and a half that the movie played. Any other night and any other movie, I'm almost positive that she would have managed to fall asleep without even trying in this kind of position. She doesn't jump at the movie, even if she does make some pretty clear noises to let out what she thought. She had always been far from subtle.

"I don't understand the appeal of those movies," she muttered by the time that the ending credits rolled around, letting out a loud yawn in the process before snuggling up against me again.

"Stephen King is incredibly famous for a reason." I reminded her.

"I have nothing against him. I liked _Carrie_. And _The_ _Stand_." April said, wrapping both of her arms around mine. "But, that's just… blah." She concluded. "He's a creepy guy."

"Says the woman who cuts in bodies for a living." I couldn't help but throw in the jab.

"So do you!" She retorted, slapping my thigh.

I let out a loud laugh, shaking the both of us. "I never said that I didn't," I gave her an easy shrug. "But I'm just saying, creepy is all relative. You know, some people might find what you do creepy."

"We save lives. Literally. No exaggerations." She stated pointedly. "That's not creepy."

"Relative, babe, relative." Another easy chuckle slipped past my lips.

April let out a loud groan before she finally detached herself from my side and got off the couch, stretching her arms out and overhead and letting out a loud yawn. I chuckled, turning off the television and slowly getting up to follow her to the bedroom.

We both changed out of our costumes and into pajamas. It's getting colder already even if it's not that late into fall so I put on a t-shirt alongside my pajama pants. April slipped into one of my t-shirts as well and a pair of pajama shorts that I already know have a stretchy waistband from the plenty of fooling around that we had done. I know her pajamas pretty well. Whether it comes to getting them off or working around them.

"There's my wife again," I grinned, bending down to give her a quick kiss on the lips.

"Too bad my husband is still a sports junkie. Jersey or not." April teased. I shook my head at her once more, stealing another little kiss and nibbling on her lower lip gently.

"Fortunately, he's also a junkie for his wife," I added, giving her a little wiggle of my eyebrows, hands falling to her hips. She guided me over to the bed and I follow without any hesitation. But I do let her get down on her own terms, knowing that she's a little fussy lately when it came to getting comfortable. I don't want to get in her way.

Once she was comfortably in place on her bed, I lowered down next to her, curling up against her backside and wrap an arm around her. My hand goes to the curve containing our child, rubbing it gently.

"There's my little man," I hummed, kissing the shell of her ear.

"Or a little girl," April commented, placing her hand on top of mine.

"Either way, my two favorite people, side by side." I grinned, letting out a content sigh. Daughter or son, this baby was going to be loved by the both of us like nothing else. That much I could be sure about.


	4. Thanksgiving

**_APRIL_**

Thanksgiving was supposed to be a gracious holiday.

Supposed to be. Every year growing up, we had gone around the table and everyone had expressed something that they were grateful for. Traditions had changed when it came to growing up and who I was celebrating with. No matter what, though, I expressed my thanks one way or another – even if it was just in a quiet prayer to God before a meal. It was how I had been raised and it felt wrong not to do that.

It was something that I was supposed to start with my own family, now that Jackson and I were married. It wasn't religious, just a tradition, and therefore something that I had always assumed he would be fine with, even if it was a little cheesy.

But this year, it's hard to be thankful.

All signs from the outside looking in would have said otherwise. We'd been happily married for many months now and it was now clear to the public perception that the two of us were expecting a child together. My baby bump had begun to pop out in the last few days, no longer a question of whether I was pregnant or just a little heavy. It was a beautiful, wonderful thing.

Except that it wasn't.

I should have been so grateful for this pregnancy and yet all I could do was ask God why. I couldn't fathom how he could possibly be so cruel, to place this upon my shoulders, to place it upon Jackson's. I'd been raised hearing that He doesn't give more than what we could handle, but I find myself doubting that with the heaviness that was currently seated in my heart. This seemed like too much pain for any human being to possibly be able to bear with any sense of gracefulness or divinity. Getting myself in and out of work each day was all I could manage.

Instead of a miracle, God had made me into a monster. My body was not safe for my baby. No body was. No life was. I was cursed. My baby was in pain. I couldn't do anything reasonable to soothe it or to stop it.

I couldn't find the choice that had been presented to be reasonable. There was no way that I could do the thing that I needed most to do. I had to terminate the pregnancy. I had to lose my baby. Most genetic defects show up in the first trimester and some miscarriage happens before women even know about it. But this wasn't that. I should have been halfway through and be glowing. Jackson and I should have been planning for some little baby moon, some three-day vacation, something happy. Not this.

As nothing short of a miracle, Webber had gone to Boston for Thanksgiving which meant that at least I wasn't going to have to see any family besides Jackson. I wasn't ready for Catherine or for anyone else. I had tried calling my mom and failed, but I knew it would have to happen eventually.

One day at a time. That was the way that we were trying to take things, but even that seemed to be much easier said than actually done. Each day was another aching pain.

Yet I had to keep going. The both of us did. We didn't have another option but to show up to work every day and try to put a smile on like we weren't dying on the inside, even if each night we came home and felt completely defeated. We were doctors. If anyone was able to handle something like this, it should have been us. But it had become clear. This wasn't going to be some hard lifetime or surgeries, or anything like that. It'd be minutes, maybe hours with our baby. There was no medical intervention or technology that would save him.

"April, watch where you're cutting." Jackson's voice drew me out of my thoughts.

My gaze jerked back down to my hand and the cucumber that I'm in the middle of chopping up to go into the salad, taking a deep breath and releasing the sigh as I set down the knife. There's no big meal. Not this time. Salad, a rotisserie chicken, green bean casserole, and a pie. It's no over the top Thanksgiving that I had pictured as my first as a married woman.

"Sorry," I apologized as if he had been the one in danger.

"Here, let me." Jackson stepped up and placed his hand over mine for a moment. I withdrew quickly, letting him pick up the knife and begin to cut up the vegetables remaining.

Bottom lip trembling despite teeth biting down on it, I take a few steps back. Most of our dinner was done already, the casserole ready to come out of the microwave, the chicken having been picked up at Whole Foods. I'm sure when Jackson went out to get it, the people had thought that he had just been enough of a mess to not be prepared about getting a turkey. But that was far from the truth. We just had no reason to be willing to celebrate the holiday.

"I don't know if I'm hungry," I admitted, placing both of my hands flat on top of the marble counters and stretching my fingers out against it. I take a deep breath, trying to keep calm.

"You know that you need to eat. Even if you don't have an appetite," Jackson reminded me gently as he set down the knife, scooting the cucumbers and carrots into the salad bowl.

"I know," I answered back blankly.

Jackson's eyes bore into me for a moment and I could tell that he wanted to say something, though his lips remained still. I stare right back at him without hesitation and I can't tell if I want him to say whatever was n his mind or to just fall quiet about it. We were both walking on eggshells. Not just around each other, but around everything. I was like a bomb ready to go off.

When we finally sit down at the table for dinner, I don't pause to say grace for the first time in a long time. On a night that I certainly should have, of all the nights, I don't. I can feel Jackson's eyes on me when I begin to shove food down my throat for the sole sake of nutrition.

"April…" His voice began softly and I could hear the worry that coated it.

"What?" I snapped at him without thinking.

"I think that we should talk about this." My gaze dropped when Jackson spoke again and I push the food around on my plate, listening to the sound of the prongs of the fork dragging across China. Even if I hadn't bothered with cooking, I had still set the table well this afternoon.

"I can't." I pushed out a noisy sigh, dropping the fork with a loud clatter. "I can't. Not today. I just… I need to stop thinking about it Jackson and I can't stop thinking about it. I literally cannot take my thought off to it for a moment. I'm fixated. I'm obsessed." My hands shake as I speak, even as I press them down to try and keep them still.

His eyes were wide and there's a sadness there that I can't name, but I can feel it deep in my soul. There's no name for this kind of grief. It just hurts and it's cruel.

"I know. I… I feel the exact same way that you do, April. I do. Which is why I think that we should talk about it. It's not good to keep it bottled up like this. Not for me, not for you." Jackson spoke seriously, setting down his own utensils. "We need to talk about this."

No matter how right he may have been on the matter, it doesn't help with the curl of nausea and disgust that had remained pitted deep in my stomach since I had found out about this. I still couldn't believe that Edwards had lied to our face, that she had told me our _son_ was fine only to learn that was far, far from the truth. Anger and disgust laid side by side inside of me, and it was as if they had taken over who I was entirely. I couldn't see past it. It was there and it wouldn't go away no matter what I tried to do. I could feel this ruining me, piece by piece.

We were going to lose our son. That was the only thing I could focus on. I couldn't pretend it was normal. But I couldn't bring myself to speak about, either. That option was far too painful.

But he wanted me to. So I would try.

"There's this moment when I first wake up in the morning that I forget. I'm still tired and I don't remember that he's going o die. That he's in pain with each breath I take. That I failed to do the most basic thing possible, that I failed to keep him safe. I don't remember that for just this brief, beautiful, blissful moment. And then I do. And it's like I've been hit by a truck, and backed over, and hit again. It's the worst feeling in the world. And I carry that with me through the rest of the day." I'm shaking and my eyes burn fiercely. "You can say you understand, but you don't. Not really. You're not… you're not carrying him. You're not the thing causing him pain."

Jackson ran over his face and leaned back in his chair for a moment, and I assume he's in the same place that I am. Disgust. With me, of course.

Even if there was nothing that I could have done before knowing about the condition that our unnamed baby boy had, there was something that I could do now. Something that I needed to do and something that he had brought up that he thought was the right thing to do. Yet I still sat here, pregnant and hating myself, terrified to let go.

"I wish things were different. But they aren't." Jackson started. "And I'm sorry they aren't. But… we can go to church. We can do whatever you need to do, April. I'm here for you. For both of you. We're going to figure out a way to get through this."

I shook my head and pushed my plate away from me, making room for my elbows on the table and slouching forward. It's a heavy conversation. Even if I wasn't hormonal, it wasn't one that I would have been able to handle with any sense of clarity inside of my head. This was all turning out to be too much.

"Why don't you take a bath?" Jackson suggested with a raise of his eyebrows.

"Okay." I don't want to fight with him, not over something simple.

Leaving half of the food on my plate untouched, I get up from the kitchen table without another word and walk down the hallway through our bedroom and to the bathroom, shutting and locking the door behind me. The sanctity of the bathroom with the tub running up to fill is the only place that I can really cry without worrying about it, but even then, as the tears fall from my face, they're not loud or noisy. I can feel my nose getting stuffy, but I cry in my own silence.

When the bathtub is filled, I strip out of my clothes and leave them in a pile on the floor before climbing in. I sink under entirely at first to get my hair wet before I just slouch there and absorb the warmth of the water surrounding me.

But even that, I can't entirely enjoy. I know what life inside of the womb is like. It was filled with water. It was why water births worked – something that I had looked into out of curiosity, out of one point. A baby doesn't drown during a water birth because the baby is already in water in the womb. It takes air for breath and when a baby comes from water into water without the introduction of air, the lungs remain collapsed and no water can enter. But does it matter? I don't even know if this baby will get to breathe.

The fixation on that detail alone is enough to make sure that it's not a long bath. I wash quickly before getting out, careful of my changing center of balance.

Jackson had apparently already finished with doing the dishes and cleaning up the kitchen because he was seated on the edge of the bed, his hands folded in front of him but otherwise doing nothing. It makes sense, in a way. I hate that it does. He doesn't look up at me, even though I walk past him with nothing but a towel over my shoulders to keep my hair from dripping.

"I'm sorry that I can't talk about it. It's too much today." I murmured quietly as I opened up the dresser, pulling out a fresh pair of panties and pajamas.

"You don't need to apologize, April. I know that this is hard for you. It's hard on me too." Jackson replied but I could hear the sigh that fell from his lips regardless. Hard seemed to be such a vast underestimate for all of it, but there really was nothing that could accurately describe it.

The bed sunk under my weight when I finally get down on it. I'd gained a good twenty pounds. For nothing. No, not for nothing. For pain. For agony. For more suffering. Not for happiness.

"I don't want to fight," I whispered out quietly, blinking back tears in my eyes.

"I don't want to either," Jackson agreed. "We're going through something hard and… things are going to be said. That's the way this goes. We see it all the time in the family of patients at work. They fight and they rip each other apart. But at the end of the day, they still get through it. We will. We'll get to the other side. It's just going to take some time first."

I wanted desperately to believe him. I had seen the same proof for myself but it's hard to put it in the context of our own lives, our own loss that was just lingering around the corner. Yet I still want him to be right. I want to survive this. I just don't know how.

Laying down on my left side, I let go of the breath that I was holding onto. Jackson curled up around me only a moment later, the warmth of his body filling my back and an arm falling over my stomach, holding onto my belly as if he could somehow protect our baby from the fate that he was going to suffer. That we were all going to suffer.

"I'm still thankful to have you in my life, and as my wife, April. Nothing in the world will change that." He said softly in my ear. Tears welled in my eyes, blinking quickly.

"I love you, Jackson," I whispered back, voice struggling to come out clearly with emotion.

"I love you too."


End file.
